BAD GIRLS DO IT WELL: ‘SPRING BREAKERS’ TRAILER

Why is it always so good when a Disney girl goes bad? Spring Breakers has not only notable High School Musical dropout Vanessa Hudgens in its cast, but resident bubblegum princess and Beiber-ex Selena Gomez as well. Shit’s about to get dark, ya’ll.

The fact that MTV got exclusive rights to premiering this trailer rings some alarm bells. MTV-backed movies tend to be about two things: white teen boys seeing tits for the first time, and jagerbombs. Having Harmony Korine behind the wheel makes things a little better. It’s unclear what Spring Breakers is actually about. Is this a party girl romper about making bad choices and having a little too much fun with James Franco? A dark psychological thriller about the lengths party girls will go to in order to hang out with James Franco? IS THIS ANOTHER ONE OF JAMES FRANCO’S ART PROJECTS?

While we’re on the topic, it’s completely hilarious that the MTV write-up accompanying the trailer advises us to “keep your eyes peeled for an almost unrecognizable James Franco as cornrow-wearing devious rapper/ drug dealer Alien.” Of course that’s James Franco…he looks exactly like he always does.

From what I understand, the movie centers on four bored co-eds who decide a good old-fashioned MTV spring break is just what they need. Driven by their boredom and greed, they go on a robbery spree in order to raise the funds to get down to Florida(?) (Cancun?). They take their partying a little too hard, and get in over their heads. Enter Franco, the aforementioned drug dealer named Alien. He preys on their insecurities and naievete, luring them into what looks like either A. crime ring B. bling ring C. prostitution ring. It doesn’t really matter.

What does matter is that James Franco is wearing a grill, is continuing to be the worst, and the Disney machine just keeps on churning. Hudgens is no stranger to post-Disney controversy. At this point, she is best known for a string of forgettable roles and a now-public nude photo meant to be for Zac Efron’s eyes. Ostensibly, she is no longer a member of the House of Mouse and can pick any role she damn well chooses. Gomez is different. She is still Disney property, at least in the reruns. Children still have Wizards of Waverly Place t-shirts. She broke up with everyone’s teen dream like last week. And here she is, waving an AK in a push-up bra. Why push for more “adult” roles? It’s simple. Nobody wants to be confined to daytime TV forever. Think about Hilary Duff. Lizzie McGuire effectively severed her ties with Disney forever by having a threesome on Gossip Girl. Homegirl is doing just fine.

Is Spring Breakers the vehicle to take these ladies away from Toontown and into more respectable roles? Not too clear on this one. But I will be seeing it in order to hear Franco say “ya’ll want to die tonight” in real time. I have my priorities, you have yours.

-Samantha Wilson

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1 Comment

Filed under Thoughts, Trailers

One response to “BAD GIRLS DO IT WELL: ‘SPRING BREAKERS’ TRAILER

  1. megandoak

    Criiiiiiiinge.

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